i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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