just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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