I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
