He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
