If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
