thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
