She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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