OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
