It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize