life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize