you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
