She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
