You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
