Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
