RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
