i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
