New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
