saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's blow job season.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
