The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize