We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
