I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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