Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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