Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
