YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
