And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Randomize
