(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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