Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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