Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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