Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
