careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize