Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
