JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
