now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
