Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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