Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
