i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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