So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
