Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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