We won't sleep together?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
