guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
