As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
