Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
