11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
