he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
