Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
