i jhust puked up my retainher.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Everclear isn't food dammit
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
