There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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