i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
