Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
