i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
