So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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