Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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