I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
